dropping weight

So far I have lost 20 pounds, I have 15 more to go to reach my goal weight! I'm very excited right now. it's been a lot of hard work and I know that these last 15 pounds will be the hardest struggle but I'm determined to lose it all.

I'm going to visit my dad in MO in a couple weeks. After I get back, I'm going to get a full time job and put sophia in day care/pre school. She needs other kids to play with. She is so bored cooped up here at the house all the time and I feel bad for her. It will be great for her to learn more social skills too. She's a very polite little girl. Get's along great with other kids. She's never shy around other kids. Walks right up to them and say "HI...what are you doing?" I love her to death! she is so amazing.

Joey seems to be doing better with this deployment than the last deployment. His self esteem seems to have improved as well. Hopefully it means good things for the future. Who knows though. We will take it day by day for now and see where it goes.
His R&R is supposed to be in January but as of now we still don't know for sure. He said that his brigade told them there is a possibility of them leaving Iraq in March b/c a lot of troops are being pulled out. I'm not holding my breath on that one b/c the Army has a great way of getting your hopes up for nothing. He's been gone 17 weeks tomorrow.


Caitlin is doing pretty good. She started freshmen year this year. She's in trainers, going to the football games and helping any of the injured players. She's taking German and getting involved with the drama team at church. I can't believe she's in H.S already. Makes me feel old man.

Mom is doing about the same. She still can't sleep and she's always in pain from either her on going headaches or her rheumatoid in her back. The dr's can't do anything for her. She's depressed and it's killing me to see her this way. I can relate with her b/c I have a hard time sleeping as well and it's exhausting. I can't imagine living life in pain on a day to day basis and not having any relief from it. :(

My dad is going to be 47 soon and he texted me the other night about how he needs to come to grips with his weight b/c it's depressing him to be so over weight. He weighs close to 400 pounds. He has a lot of health issues b/c of him being over weight. I really do hope that he can lose this weight. It concerns me highly. Despite our differences, I still love him. I don't want anything to happen to him.

Anyway, that's all for now.

5 more pics of sophia

the 3rd picture is of a sky diver at the hot air balloon festival with the american flag. it was pretty cool.

pics of sophia

in ohio

well it's been about 4 weeks since i've been in ohio. things are going okay i suppose. Joey's been gone about 11 weeks now. time is going really slow.

Sophia is getting so big. She loves Frank. Follows him everywhere.
It's taking a lot of time adjusting to living with other people outside my own little family.
Caitlin and I are getting along. There was a couple incidents that caused me to go off on her but since then, everything has been pretty smooth.

I've been trying to keep sophia busy. We went up to PA to see an old friend of mine. I took her to the lake and the fair up there and she had a blast! She rode her first kiddie rides and petted her first goat, duck, and rabbit. I took pictures. Hopefully i can find time to post them on here.

Back here in Miamisburg, I took her to the Hot air balloon festival and she had fun with that as well. We went with franks son and his wife and their 2 kids.

Since I've been up here it has been pretty chilly weather. It hasn't felt like summer at all. It's pretty bizarre.

Joey is doing okay. He's been pretty busy in Iraq. Which is good b/c that leaves him with less time to think about things that would depress him. He has to switch roles sometimes from gun truck driver to the actual gunner of the gun truck. It bothers me but there's nothing I can do. I am looking forward to his R&R, whenever that is.

oh! I went down 2 pant sizes. I'm pretty excited!!

I don't know if Christina can read this but if she can I just wanted to congratulate you again on your pregnancy! I bet you are going to make a fantastic mommy!

I love you all even if we have lost touch over the past few years.

Syra

Pre-Inspection

Since Joey is in Iraq, we decided it would be best to move out of the house and for me and Sophia to go stay with my mom in Ohio and collect the BAH money and save it all up so we have enough money to move back to Arizona. So with any moving, comes cleaning and packing. I sent Sophia to Arizona to stay with Joey's dad and step mom and sister so I could get everything done. Today was the pre-inspection on the house. That's basically when they come in and tell me what to fix or clean or whatever. When I put the paper work in to set a date to be moved out, they asked if I wanted to self clean or pay the $190 for them to clean the house to their standards. I opted to pay the $190. That doesn't include shampooing the carpets. I finally got everything I could into storage and now all that's left in the house is all the furniture which I can't move til next Tuesday b/c that's when my step dad flies in to help me put the furniture in storage. I cleaned for what seemed like FOREVER. So the lady from the Army housing comes today and basically says, "as far as cleaning goes on final inspection day next week, just take a wet rag and wipe down the kitchen appliances and sweep and mop all floors, shampoo the carpets even if there are no stains (which by the way, there are NO stains so it's stupid that I have to waste money to shampoo them) and make sure the front and back yard has no trash in it." You can imagine my frustration when she said all this. I busted my hump making the house spic and span and come to find out, it was all done for nothing. I'm so irritated. I mean yah sure, at least it's all done now but it still irritates me to know that I wasted time and stressed out for no reason. It irritates me that I have to shampoo the carpets at my cost when there isn't one stain. If you need proof, feel free to stop by and have a look. I know that they said I could pay the $190 to have them clean the house but they made this HUGE deal that I still needed to clean it before they came to the house. I guess I'm wondering what I'm paying them money for now, if the house is free of dirt. I mean they even said I had to spackle the walls where there was any scrapes or holes. So I went to the store, bought spackle and a spatula thing and spackled the scrapes on the walls. She gets here and she tells me that I didn't have to do that either! What's with these people? I feel like screaming. At least I only have 1 week left in this house and city. I leave next Wednesday and then I'll be on my merry way up to Ohio. That's gonna be a long drive. Syra

Packing

I took Sophia on Friday and met Debbie(one of my mother in laws)half way, so she could take Sophia back to AZ for a couple weeks so I could get all my packing and cleaning done.
I've packed a lot of stuff up. The kitchen is proving to be a bit of a challenge. I dread the basement b/c of all the dead cockroaches down there.

Once I've packed all that I can pack, I will focus on all the cleaning. I have to shampoo the carpets even though there aren't any stains. It's stupid b/c I have to pay a $190 to Balfourd Beatty(GMH) for them to clean the house after I leave and yet they want me to rent a rug doctor and shampoo my carpets and do all the surface cleaning. I don't mind the cleaning bit but I think it's ridiculous that they are charging me a $190 to clean and I still have to shampoo the carpets and do any kind of cleaning at all. I don't understand why I have to pay that much money.

Frank (my step dad) is flying in on the 23rd to help me put all my stuff in storage and then on the 24th BB will come at 10 am and give the house a final inspection and then we will be able to head to Ohio. I'm thankful he is helping me with moving the stuff to storage.

I've been able to accomplish so much w/o Sophia being under my feet all the time but I miss her so much. However, it's nice to have a break from her so I don't have to worry about her constantly.

Joey is pretty tired. They have him doing 3 day missions on the gun truck and then he gets about 6 hours of sleep for every 2-3 days he's awake. The heat out in Iraq is exhausting him and they don't have A/C in their CHU's. He says the only good thing about doing the 3 day missions is that it keeps him busy and it makes time go by faster. He's been extremely encouraging of me making this move and taking care of everything. I'm appreciative of that especially since he has a lot on his plate.

Hopefully I'll have everything done in the house by the time I go pick Sophia up next weekend.
I've lost 10 pounds since Joey deployed. I'm pretty happy about it. I don't know if it's b/c of the stress or b/c I've been eating healthier but whatever the case I'm losing weight. so hoorah for that! haha

Moving

Well I think I will pack up the house and put it all in storage and go stay with my mom for a little bit.

Since we're in the Army we get paid what is called BAH (basic army housing), and it's based off what the typical rent would be for what ever city you live in, that the army duty station is based in. we get $892 every month but since we live on the army base, we never see that money b/c they take it out of our account automatically to pay for the rent of the house. So what I think I will do is, pack up my house and put it all in storage. Go stay with my mom for 3-4 months and save up that $892 every month and then when i have the money saved up I will drive back to TX, get my stuff out of storage and then move to AZ and find an apartment. When I go find an apartment, I'll have enough money saved up to put security deposits down, application fees, first and last months rent down and enough money to activate the electricity and gas.

This way, I'll be able to spend time with my mom for awhile and move.

I'm not looking forward to packing and cleaning. I keep looking at everything that needs to be done and I'm overwhelmed. I would also love to have a babysitter so Sophia won't be in the way so I can get more packing done. I hope that if my sister in law, Dana, comes down from AZ, she will help me pack. Otherwise I'm going to be here for another year before it's all packed (noted sarcasm).

I'll probably end up moving to Payson, AZ instead of to the Chandler area b/c it's SO much cheaper up in Payson. It's a small town so I'm not sure I will like living there but I can't have everything. The fact that it's cheaper, is good enough.
I'll be able to spend time with my mom during this whole transition so I'm excited. It will be good for Sophia to see her other grandparents.


I worry about Sophia not knowing my side of the family b/c I live here and will be moving to AZ. I worry that when she does see my mom/dad every couple years, it will be awkward. I guess that's the price of getting married and having your own family. It's still pretty disheartening.

So anyway, hopefully on Monday when I get the car fixed (battery is dead) I can get some answers as to where I start first to get moved out of here and to get our BAH pay added to Joey's paycheck, instead of getting taken out every paycheck.

Sprained ankle

Okay, so thursday night I went over to this chicks house. She said she was making steak and baked potatoes.
I was playing hide and seek with sophia and I was running from her b/c she was chasing me at that point, i tripped b/c my ankle twisted and i heard a loud POP sound. I fell to the ground and I was crying (yah like the idiot i am) in the girls hallway. Dude, this pain was excruciating. For a minute I thought I had broken it b/c I've twisted my ankle before and it has never felt this painful.
So the girl is sitting on her computer playing World of Warcraft. She hears me crying and she yells from her seat, "that's what you get for running. Now I'm probably going to have to take you to the hospital. that's just GREAT!"
She didn't get up to come see if I was okay, she was mad b/c i hurt myself and there was a possibility that she would have had to get up off her ass from playing WoW and take me to the ER.
So I laid there in the hallway to calm down so I wouldn't go off on her.
I got up and limped in the living room, and she's still on her computer. and she asks me what happened and she's like "yah well, you shouldn't be running anyway, you're not teaching your daughter very good manners by running in the house. that's what you get for being stupid and running around like that. that's what you get"

OMG! it took everything in me to not just get up and leave right then. My ankle was throbbing and I didn't want to move so I had to grin and bear it. I just couldn't believe how heartless she was. She was more focused on that stupid freaking game World of Warcraft than to take any concern about her friend who just hurt herself. I showed her how swollen the ankle was and she still didn't ask if i was Okay or anything. So i'm not intending on hanging out with her again.


and btw, her steaks were gross. she put them in the oven to cook them b/c she didn't have a grill. and she dried them all out. even with the marinade.

Aunt died

So my dad found out this morning that his sister Sharon was found dead. She went for on the mountain and was missing for awhile and they found her earlier this morning dead.
There have been family feuds going on within my dads family between him and his siblings (he has 3 sis and 1 bro). None of the other siblings will give my dad or his mom any information on the death of my aunt. He doesn't think is even invited to the funeral. They won't even give my dad nor his mom any details. Such as how she died, where in AZ did it happen, etc.

I feel bad for my dad.
It's upsetting that after all the years, things have been at a strain between all of them and now that one of the siblings have died, they still can't give up the grudges and talk to my dad. I don't know what the whole story is but I guess I would like to know so I can understand better what is really going on between them.

Deployment

On monday the 4th, Joey deployed to Iraq. :(
I've heard from him twice so far. As of midnight this morning, he was in Kuwait. He'll be staying there with his gun truck crew, longer than the other soldiers b/c all gun truck soldiers have to complete more training.

The afternoon he left was miserable. When Joey walked away and I told her that he was going bye bye, she started crying and reaching out for him. He looked back and told her that he loved her. It was too heartbreaking. So since he's been gone, she sleeps with her "daddy" bear. The FRG handed out bears with and empty slot on the face to put a picture of the soldier who is deploying, so that the child(ren) can keep their daddy or mommy close to them while they are gone. I have her kiss the bear every night and tell him I love you.

Through out the day she will tell me "daddy at work, daddy bye bye".

He's supposed to be gone for 12 months but they were told to be expected to be gone for 18-24 months.

http://www.elpasotimes.com/ci_12282665?source=rss_emailed


that's just an article from our local newspaper, talking about Joey's unit. I guess his unit will be training the Iraqi forces. I don't know what Joey will be doing out there other than being on the gun truck crew.

While Joey is gone, I have to move to AZ. So I guess that will keep me busy for the majority of the time he is gone. After I find us an apartment, I will find a job (hopefully) and start Sophia in daycare. I'm not happy about making the move on my own but I guess that's life. Joey's dad and step mom said they would come down and help me move stuff.

I'm having mixed feelings about Joey getting out of the Army when he gets back from Iraq. He is not confident he will find a good job b/c he doesn't have any work skills outside of fast food. He is also going to utilize his GI bill and attend college full time and the government will pay for the college and paying the housing costs. That will be a big help at least.

So that's it for now :)

next friday

Well, Joey leaves next Friday, we can visit with him from 10 am to noon and then after 12pm he goes to the Biggs Airport and leaves for Tallil, Iraq.

I found out this morning that their deployment got extended from 12 months to 18-24 months. I also found out that SUPPOSEDLY that Joey's unit is the last unit to go to Iraq, any other unit who deploys, will be deploying to Afghanistan or Korea.

I can not fathom the idea of him being gone for a possible 2 years! This will be his last deployment. When he returns, he will be getting out of the Army. We will move back to AZ.

One good thing I can say, is that at least I'm not pregnant. Last month I thought I was. I took 5 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive, then I went to get my blood drawn to get tested and it came back negative b/c my hCG level was 24.8 (according to the Army your hCG level has to be at 30 before being considered pregnant). However, if your hCG level is above 5, then you're almost definitely pregnant but 5 days later I started my period. The doctors think I had a chemical pregnancy, in which I miscarried really early on.
I am simply not ready for another child. So even though children are a blessing, I feel like I was blessed by not being pregnant.
I don't know if I want anymore children. I look at my life and I see how much my life is like my mothers when she was my age. It's scary. She didn't want anymore children after me either. However, she ended up having another one but it was 12 years later(Caitlin), who I know she adores.

So here we are.... T-minus 9 days

quit smoking.

So, I'm currently trying to stop smoking. It's not too hard but the hardest times are when I'm around other people who smoke.

I've been working out every day. I've realized that the weekends are the toughest days to diet. It's just TOO easy to break my diet and eat fast food and not exercise. I'm still motivated to keep working out, I still have my pre pregnancy clothes, so I keep those in mind when I don't want to do anything but lay around.

I can't believe it's almost the middle of April. This past Saturday at the PX, a husband and his wife were killed. The wife was a PFC and it was her first week at Ft. Bliss and her husband shot her in the head and then killed himself. Since it was her first week here, no one knows if there were any marital problems or what the reason was behind the killings. It's pretty insane to think that we were just at the PX a couple hours prior to the shootings. Hopefully, the gate guardsmen will come up with a more effective plan to search people for weapons.

I bought Sophia a potty training DVD. I'm really hoping that when it comes in, she will pick up on the potty training faster. I'm tired of changing diapers or cleaning up messes. She will take her diaper off when ever it is wet or dirty but she won't go in the toilet.

Now I'm off to cook dinner.

Elliptical!

I got my elliptical yesterday and we put it together in a couple yours. Today was my first work out and I am so excited! It's harder than I expected but I love that I have this opportunity now to lose weight.

My goal is to lose at least 40 pounds and at most 50 pounds. But I think 50 pounds might be pushing it but if it happens....well the more the merrier! :-D

So I'm going to make a chart on some poster paper and keep tabs on my progess.


Have I mentioned how excited I am?

Sleep

For as long as I can remember, I've had troubles sleeping. Unless I have sleeping pills, there's a small chance I will get a decent nights sleep. I know I must seem too picky about my sleeping style to my husband, Joey, but I can't help it!

I have to have a fan on to block out most of the noises that are going on, barking dogs, cars rushing past our house...etc.
I have to have 2 pillows that are fluffy and one between my legs. I get headaches very easily so if I don't sleep with my head elevated, I wake up with headaches. The pillow between my legs is to help with my back! haha I sound like I'm old.
If anything wakes me up in the night, it takes me about 30-45 minutes to fall back to sleep. If I do take a sleeping pill, I have to go to bed the second it kicks in or the pill won't have an effect on me.

I'm going to call the doctor today and request an appointment with him to talk to him about putting me on sleeping pills. I know that once Joey deploys next month, I'll have an even harder time sleeping.

Speaking of deployment, I wish that it would just happen already, so that they can get it over with. Waiting for them to deploy is agonizing b/c that's all I seem to think about. I know that I can deal with it. The first time he deployed, he was gone for 15 months and the first few months were brutal! After awhile, you adapt to it. This time seems like it's going to be harder for the both of us b/c Sophia is 2. I don't need to explain why this would be hard on him.

I've been getting into cooking a lot more. I've made some good meals and some meals were a flop. Cooking seems to be the one thing that I can focus on and tune everything else out. I get in that "zone". I've thought of going to culinary school, but the idea of being in a hot kitchen all day doesn't appeal to me at all.

So, with that said, I'm going to go take a shower and Sophia a bath and hope for a warm day so we can go to the park.

First Entry

This week has been pretty uneventful. Time is growing short with Joey. He leaves for Iraq some time at the end of April, of course that is always subject to change. Either way, he will be leaving either the end of April or the beginning of May. He is pretty scared about this deployment. He's been having nightmares a lot more, lately. While he's out there he will be a gun truck driver. Obviously no job out there is safe to have but this job seems so much more dangerous than the job he had last time he was out there. Last time he worked at the Iraqi Police station.

Sophia just turned 2 this month. We took her to Chuckee Cheese and to the park then took her home and let her run around in her new Dora the Explorer sprinkler. She's getting so big. She's like a sponge when it comes to learning new things. Always surprising me with new words and her active imagination. She loves playing with her baby doll. She'll sit on the porch with me and hold her baby and kiss it and hug it and then she'll tell it "night night" and go put her to sleep on the couch. She's in this phase where she tells us "no" all the time. So she has a lot of time out time.

I just purchased an elliptical machine with our tax refund. I'm excited for it to get here so I can start working out and losing weight. I've been struggling with my weight gain for awhile now. I know that it's to be expected that you gain weight when you have children but it's so unsettling when you can't lose it. So hopefully with this new elliptical I'll be able to lose a lot of weight.

I'm hoping to update this blog on a weekly basis. We shall see!!